JustMoney’s recent survey, Money & Me, reveals a significant gender gap in financial wellness: 42% of women report feeling financially stressed, compared to 34% of men.
This Valentine’s month, rather than a fleeting luxury, the most meaningful investment you can make in your relationship may be a transparent conversation about money.
The reality behind the romance
While flowers and dinners are traditional gestures, they don’t address underlying issues, such as financial stress. The Money & Me survey highlights that men and women often approach money management from very different perspectives:
- The pragmatism gap: Women are more likely to prioritise essentials. If given R1,000, 75% of women would buy groceries compared to 67% of men.
- The bargain factor: 75% of women shop based on specials, whereas only 67% of men are guided by discounts when deciding where to spend.
- The earning divide: Women’s pragmatism often stems from necessity. Only 36% of women earn more than R10,000, compared to 47% of men; consequently, only 9% of women feel confident about their income, while 42% feel worried.
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Beyond the bank statement
“How well partners manage money can ultimately make or break their bond,” explains Sarah Nicholson, customer experience manager at JustMoney. “Couples don’t need to view money in the same way, or earn the same amount, but they do need honesty, clarity, and shared goals.”
“Open financial conversations are important for everyone. While men and women may approach money differently, good money management is relevant for any couple, regardless of gender.”
JustMoney offers the following money tips for couples, to help avoid stress in relationships.
Acknowledge different money personalities. One partner may be a saver, and the other a spender. Treat these differences with respect and empathy, and see them as an opportunity to grow together.
Be open about your financial status. This includes income, debt, credit records, and ongoing obligations. Partners need to know the full picture, as vague answers about money can erode trust.
Create a simple monthly budget. Discuss how expenses such as housing, groceries, utilities, transport, and childcare will be shared. Even if finances are kept separate, budgeting helps couples make informed decisions and avoid resentment. Contributions don’t always have to be equal, but they should feel equitable to both partners.
Align goals. Beyond day-to-day expenses, couples should talk about what they’re working towards. This could include buying a home, starting a family, travelling, or building long-term financial security. When goals are clear, budgeting becomes more purposeful.
Be honest about debt. Credit is a reality for many households and is best tackled openly. Men are more likely to borrow from financial institutions, while women are 21% more likely to borrow from family or friends. Agreeing on how debt will be managed, such as prioritising high-interest repayments and avoiding new credit, can reduce financial pressure and strengthen trust.
Factor in family commitments. Financial support for parents, siblings, or children from previous relationships should be discussed early. Money & Me showed that ability to save is directly related to the number of people supported. Those supporting four or more family members have only a 6% likelihood of saving 10% or more of their income per month.
Take control of savings. Building up a reserve is often treated as something to do “if there’s money left over”, but couples will benefit from planning savings upfront.
Consider emergencies. Many couples overlook key financial issues that only surface during stressful times. For example, who will cover expenses if one partner loses their job or becomes ill? A joint emergency fund and suitable cover will reduce pressure during difficult periods.
Put protections in place. Medical, life, and disability cover, along with updating a will, are caring actions that ensure a partner’s future security. Money & Me identified young women as the most under-insured group, increasing their financial vulnerability.
This research also showed that 38% of women and 32% of men pay for two or more funeral policies, often for family members. This over-investment in funeral cover may leave them under-insured for income protection and medical cover, posing a significant risk.
Build your future. Money & Me revealed that men are twice as likely as women to invest in cryptocurrency, and more likely to choose gambling over other ways to stretch money, such as finding restaurant deals. Discuss comfort with risk, shared goals, and investment time frames before making investment decisions.
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Be clear about whether you are investing jointly or individually, and ensure your overall investment strategy is diversified rather than duplicated. It’s advisable to discuss your situation with a financial adviser.
“Importantly, discussions about money should be about planning for the future, not policing each other’s spending,” says Nicholson.
“Healthy financial relationships are built through ongoing conversations. Regular check-ins help couples adjust their budgets and financial goals as needs change. They also prevent small issues from becoming major disagreements.”
Nicholson reminds us that Valentine’s Day spending should reflect shared values, not social pressure. Expensive gifts or experiences funded by credit can undo months of careful budgeting. Thoughtful, affordable gestures often mean more than extravagant spending, especially when both partners are working towards bigger financial goals.