Work-life balance and flexible work hours are phrases that, on paper, paint a picture of modern corporate enlightenment. However, if we look at the number of mid- or advanced-career employees, especially women, leaving employment to go into consulting or start their own small businesses, everything can’t be as straightforward as corporates “getting it right”. Let’s look at what’s at play.
Imagine, for a moment, a business careers page or job advert awash with “work-life balance”, “flexible work hours”. These are all good intentions. In many instances, HR has polished decks about “women in leadership” and “supporting working parents”. This is exactly what a modern workplace should look like.
But let’s take a moment to consider it in practice. A manager leaves the office at 16:00 on Mondays and Wednesdays to collect her child from sports practice and leaves at 15:00 on Thursdays to go support him on the rugby field. Her work is impeccable, her team delivers, and clients are happy. Officially, this is exactly the type of employee the company says it supports.
Unofficially, the talk at the water cooler and in the hallways is that “she’s always at the rugby field”, or “It must be nice to leave work early three times a week”, or even worse: “Her work is good, but you have to question how committed she is”.
This isn’t a trivial example. It sits at the heart of why so many senior women, and increasingly men, are quietly opting out of corporate leadership paths. They aren’t leaving because they lack ambition or are not committed to the work. They are leaving because, for them, the price of playing the game on the terms set for them is too high.
If we are honest, in the corporate world, we have mastered the language of balance and inclusion. Yet, institutionally, it is not far-fetched to accept that organisations as a whole are often far less comfortable when employees take us at our word.
The importance of asking difficult questions
Because of the pandemic, everyone got a taste of what managing their own lives looks and feels like. Understanding this reality, it is clear that the real differentiator is no longer who has the boldest work-life balance policy, but who asks the most honest, uncomfortable questions about how work is structured and rewarded.
The first question is deceptively simple:
Are you rewarding performance or obedience?
Many organisations will say they are “output‑driven”, but if you take a closer look at who is promoted and protected, a different story emerges, a story of tracking hours. A safe bet is still the person who
- Is visibly present in the office,
- Attends every meeting,
- Answers messages at all hours, Monday to Sunday, and
- Never tests the boundaries of “flexibility”.
On the other hand, the person who quietly delivers exceptional, high‑quality work in significantly less time, or the one who structures their day around school runs, care responsibilities or focused deep work, can find themselves under suspicion. This is a legacy of the past.
The truth is that many of us still equate long hours and constant availability with commitment, even when the value delivered paints a different picture. A brave organisation will pull out its last round of performance ratings and ask, and answer honestly: Did we reward results or theatre?
Have you understood the complex lives people are living?
Believe it or not, employees have lives far removed from their “nine to five”. For many employees, women in particular, senior‑leadership years collide with the most demanding years outside of work: Children, ageing parents, complex households and community responsibilities.
It’s not so much a “double life” as a “double shift”. People work a full-day job, then go home to become parents, cooks, spouses, family support systems and much more. This, on top of back-to-back video calls, collapsing boundaries and the pressure to be “always on”. This isn’t theory; it’s reality.
Any organisation must also understand that layered on top of this is the rising culture of “side hustles”. The cost of living is climbing, and many people are building second income streams to bolster their primary income.
These realities don’t appear on organisational charts. You see neat little boxes, but the name inside that box is living a layered, complex human life. When you talk about “our people”, are you picturing this reality or the neat job description?
Employees must ask: What type of company do I want to work for?
This story doesn’t end with organisations. A fair amount of responsibility rests with employees.
The status quo revolved around a business telling an employee: Work hard, take on the roles we design for you, and we will look after you. In return, employees traded a degree of autonomy for stability and a stable career path.
It’s not so simple anymore. Many employees, especially senior women who have reached the boardroom or just below it, are discovering that they have something powerful: options. With 10-15 years’ experience, a strong network and transferable skills, they are discovering that there is a market for them to consult. They can also start their own small business. They can design work around their lives, not the other way around.
In that context, two questions for employees are critical:
- Do I want to be at a company that has defined what is right for me?
- Or do I want to work for a company that admits it doesn’t necessarily have the answers and is willing to ask better questions with me?
A company that “knows what’s right” will proudly point to its leadership tracks, benefits and glossy programmes, but often expects individuals to mould themselves to its pre‑defined path.
A company that asks difficult questions will often measure performance on value created, not hours logged. Careers in these organisations become less linear: There are lateral moves, pauses, portfolio switches and even season‑specific arrangements.
Sometimes, answering a single difficult question with an employer changes everything. Employees don’t need to choose between a corporate career and a fulfilling life. They can have both.
Written by Insaaf Daniels, Marketing and People Director at redPanda Software